i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
