you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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