Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
