Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
