Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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