Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
