i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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