Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
