I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
