i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
