dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
please come you make the beer taste better
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
