So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
smell my finger.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
