The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
