Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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