the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
