There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
