"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
