You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
