True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
