I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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