Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
