i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do vagina's smell?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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