I'm gonna have a badass scar
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
