Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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