she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
