Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
