roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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