6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
