I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
