I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
