So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
