On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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