I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
