Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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