i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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