I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
