I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
