rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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