I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
