STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
