I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
