lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
