Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
