i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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