i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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