if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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