I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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