My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
