So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
