Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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